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Your mental game shapes your business and your entire world.

If you can master these 3 fundamental aspects of your work life, you can create just about any business that you desire.

  • Affect (feelings)
  • Behavior (interactions)
  • Cognition (thought)

The Upward Spiral of Awesomeness

How you feel about generating leads for your business largely determines what you will do, how you will do it, and how frequently.

Take networking meetings.

I know one lady who made it a point to attend 8 networking functions a week!  It was the bread and butter of her business and she loved doing it.

Here’s the best part — when I asked her if she enjoyed doing this much networking, she got a twinkle in her eye, smiled wide, and said, “Of course I like it! I am getting really good at it!”

Her desire and hunger (feelings) to grow her business gave her the initial push to try networking (behavior). Once she got out there and did it several times, she started to get the hang of it (more behavior).

Now she sees herself as a master networker (thoughts) and loves using this technique to grow her business.

This feeling-behavior-thought pattern reinforces her behavior week after week and she is producing consistent results in her business.

Oh, that we were all so fortunate.

The Downward Spiral of Doom

This cycle, however, works both ways.  If you are not as lucky, as skilled, or as fortunate as the lady I mentioned above, you could find networking to be a real drag on your business.

You may have the same desire and hunger (feelings) to grow your business, and you may even go the length of attending 3-4 networking events (behavior).

If you get nothing in return for all of your effort, it would be easy to conclude that you are not good at networking (cognition) or that networking is a waste of time (more cognition).

Keys to Breaking the Downward Spiral

When you have gone out on a limb, tried something new, and failed miserably, it is easy to want to give up.  The keys to breaking the downward spiral, giving up, and throwing in the towel are:

  1. Self-Compassion
  2. Deliberate Practice.

Self compassion is the act of being very forgiving of yourself. If shame, self-doubt, or self-hatred get their hooks into you, you will not have the desire to take the next step — getting back on the horse.

Deliberate practice is the committed process of trying something over and over again — with proper guidance from a trusted and skilled advisor.  The point is to practice doing the prospecting activity correctly, not just winging it.

Repeated practice with proper guidance will allow you to win so you feel like prospecting again and again.


Jhangiani & Tarry (n.d.) Affect, Behavior, and Cognition