How I Learned to Play the Inner Game of Entrepreneurship
This is a story about what to do when your best plans go awry. I tell how I have learned a valuable skill that saves me so much time when dealing with setbacks.
Here is just one example of my ride on the emotional roller coaster.
I was marketing for a speaking engagement, and spent no small amount of time on one prospect in particular. It is an agency that I have done business with years and years ago.
Since I knew them, I didn’t expect any surprises.
I was wrong.
A lot has changed with this agency, and their compensation has dropped to 1/3 of what it was in the past. Here is the range of emotions that I experienced in the span of 3 minutes.
- Surprise – “What? I was getting paid way more than that several years ago!”
- Anger – “That is so far below what the other agencies in this area are paying.”
- Indignant – “Do I really want to work for that amount of pay?”
- Remorse – “How in the world am I going to make it at those pay out rates?”
The most important part of this entire article — are you paying attention here? — is that I recognized where I was.
I stood at the junction between the exit ramp and the spin cycle.
This insight took me years to develop, and I can’t tell you the amount of time I have wasted in the spin cycle of perpetual self-doubt.
What I explain next is the biggest lesson I have learned in playing the inner game of entrepreneurship.
Do a Reboot
As I mentioned elsewhere in my Get Back on the Horse article, so much hangs in the balance when you find yourself standing at this junction.
I’ve been here before, so I knew what to do. I had to reboot.
I had to do something else productive to get my mind off things. In about 15 minutes I was already looking for the positive, a way to rebound.
“I need to start looking for better-paying gigs.” “I’m worth it, and I know I can do it.”
Then fear tried to lay hold.
“I don’t even know where to look.”
Then, digging even deeper, I found hope. I had galvanized myself.
“Wait a minute…There’s this one group I could speak to, and there’s that other bucket of speaking opportunities I have not even approached, and there’s the referral group I’ve been wanting to build…”
At the end of my emotional cycle I was better off than before the unpleasant surprise, but notice that this didn’t wrap up in a pretty bow in 5 minutes. There were a couple iterations up and down before settling on the positive.
How I Reboot
Notice that I consciously chose to do a reboot, to do something that would essentially change my mental direction.
This is the time-saving (life-saving?) thing that I was not good at many years ago.
Being able to realize where I am (in need of a reboot), and being able to do one successfully, has saved my bacon numerous times.
Doing a Reboot is often one of the following for me:
- Putting it away. If the bad news came via email, I close the program. Get it off my screen.
- Digging into one of my pet projects to move the pebble forward one or two blocks.
- If this happens in the evening when my daughter is home, spending just 10 minutes with her is enough.
For you, it also could include:
- Listening to 3 or 4 of your favorite songs.
- Taking a quick 2o-minute walk in your neighborhood.
- Calling one of your friends to de-stress for a few minutes.
- (Dare I say it?) Facebook for 10-15 minutes (enter this time sink at your own risk).
Experience Gives You This Ability
So, if this little shock forced me to get better at what I do, and forced me to start thinking bigger about my future, was this experience such a bad thing?
What you have to understand is that this ride on the emotional roller coaster lasted about an hour, and the ride ended well.
It has taken me years to make the ride this short. Over a decade ago when I was just starting out, I did not know how to tame the ride.
Most often when I experienced some bad news, my ride usually ended with:
- remorse
- a heaping dose of self-doubt
- spending the next week (or more) not making any progress.
Now I’ve been on the ride so many times that I have some perspective on it. I know what to expect.
I’ve fallen down so many times that I’m starting to get really good at getting back up. I can now recognize where I am, and choose the exit ramp rather than the spin cycle.
You can do this, too.
You can get back up faster than ever before.
A Reboot is Not Avoidance
A reboot is a short-term action to interrupt a negative line of thought, something you do to keep from going down the death spiral.
Avoidance behavior is some non-productive thing you do (filing) when you should be doing something productive (calling on prospective clients).
Wrap Up
The next time your business throws you a curve, use the three steps I use to win at the inner game of entrepreneurship.
- Recognize where you are.
- Choose the exit ramp.
- Hit the reboot switch.
This muscle builds over time, and you will continue to get better and better at recovering from a setback.